Frustrated...

UGH!!!! Sometimes I wonder if it's just my luck, or if everyone just deserves for me to be upset with them.

I tried all day to get an appointment with a doc that will see me on temporary Medicaid. I actually don't even have it yet, I have to go to the Health Department and take a pee test and then they give me the magic slip saying I'm pregnant and can have my insurance back again. Honestly I think it is a little degrading to have to go and do a pregnancy test in the same office as the STD clinic. Ugh I'm just aggravated at everything!

I want to go to my regular OB but with gas prices so high I just can't afford to drive 30 miles each way, especially since I know I will be seen atleast 2 times a month by the regular OB, and 1 or 2 times a month by the high risk doc. I loved my doc, she was the best, but since she was so far when I had Baby A, she wasn't able to be there to deliver her. So this time I want to find a doc closer who can be there when I go into labor. Hopefully.

Every office I called (my old doc recommended some) won't see me. Either they don't accept Medicaid, or have limited space. And wonderful none of them can tell me how to become "limited space" in their office. I finally gave up and called an office I had been to before. It's all interns and residents who haven't graduated yet. They are the only place I can find who will accept my insurance. But I had to leave a message to have someone call back to set an appointment and of course no one called as promised.

I am not normally this mean and angry. I'm hormonal. I'm scared about my baby's health. I am terrified of loosing another baby. I am grief stricken about my daughter in Heaven and feel so guilty about being pregnant again so soon.

Mommy loves you so much Baby A, my sweet princess. Even though I'm pregnant NO ONE can replace you beautiful baby girl. Please protect over your baby brother or sister.